the signs came four days before I was due
shockwaves from within, my entire being tolled, like I was a bell
time went on — I was swallowed by stubborn waves, like a boat on stormy seas
I made contact on the second morning,
my body like a conduit, made for connection
as light shined through the austere LDR room, the threshold opened
she emerged from within me,
with all the things I had been carrying for so long
once I hated summer
the light was too bright for me
but out of nowhere came to love it,
I turned toward life
she was born at the start of summer
I was taken aback by this blank mass of possibility
all the different colors she’ll come to know
I know it’s too soon to dread the day she’ll go on her own,
but the day will come before too long
one early afternoon, at the height of summer
I found a jewel beetle in the backyard
teaching me to notice creatures that I might have overlooked
encouraging me to take a picture
and lighting the road ahead
so that I keep from the dark path
toward the light,
beckoned by the little one carrying the lantern
“As it is”, by Rinko Kawauchi, will be published by Chose Commune in late September, €35; chosecommune.com
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